


how could a heart like yours (ever love a heart like mine)

by ryneisaterriblefan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Friends With Benefits, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gen, HE IS, I mean, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Jealous Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lots of Crying, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Friendship, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Never Have I Ever, Nightmares, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Self-Esteem Issues, Sleepovers, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Violence, also james pilots black, hey pls pretend keith has good persuasion skills, if i need to add any tags pls tell me, if you came here for smut i'm sorry it lasts like three paragraphs, ik it's probs not allowed but, keith and james, keith and james were like 17 or 16 so, keith's hoverbike - Freeform, lance does keith's hair, the endgame is klance tho dw, this spiralled out of control, vv gay guys, wingman james
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-30 13:04:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15752244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryneisaterriblefan/pseuds/ryneisaterriblefan
Summary: Turning on the shower, Keith tries to relax, letting the water soak his hair - and he runs his fingers through them, straightening the knots out, but his fingers trip on one of Lance's clips and his hair tie.Holding them, Keith just stares - and suddenly he can't tell the difference between the warm water hitting his face and the tears sliding down his cheeks.





	how could a heart like yours (ever love a heart like mine)

**Author's Note:**

> this is a mess i shouldn't have done this and like omg what help i need to write otehr stuff too i need help 
> 
> *screams and throws this trash at you*

Whatever Keith expects when he comes back to Earth, James Griffin apologizing to him is definitely not it.

Well, aside from the whole Galra-attack-Atlas-is-another-Voltron thing, Keith doesn’t really expect anything to happen except more attacks and meetings with aliens and whatever.

Keith’s in the open field, talking with Lance–listening to him, more like–after another battle-when Griffin comes up to them and says, ‘Keith. Can I talk to you for a second?’

As if he’s asking for permission, Keith’s eyes drift towards Lance, and he thinks he sees a flash of annoyance, but Lance smiles and waves him away, walking off to bother Hunk or Pidge. Or flirt with Allura.

There’s a not quite awkward silence, but Griffin is looking at him critically, and Keith wants to squirm under the other’s inquisitive eyes. He doesn’t, though. He hasn’t come this far, fighting Galra and Shiro himself to cower under Griffin’s gaze.

‘So,’ Griffin starts.

When he doesn’t continue, Keith raises his head to look at him. ‘What?’

At this point, Griffin sighs, and, pinching the bridge of his nose, says, too reluctantly, ‘Look, hear me out, okay?’

Keith opens his mouth, but Griffin’s interrupting him before he can say anything. ‘Okay, just listen to me first? You can yell at me or punch me after I’m finished.’

Keith nods.

Taking a deep breath, Griffin starts. ‘So, I owe you an apology. I treated you like shit during middle school and the garrison, and I bullied you for the most of it. Officer Shirogane – ‘ Keith’s lips quirk up into a small smile – ‘pulled me aside that day you punched me and explained what happened, and I’ve been feeling like shit about you. And when you were expelled from the garrison, I though you could be gone and I wouldn’t see you ever again, which was what I had been hoping for, honestly.’

Griffin laughs bitterly, and Keith knows his own eyes are widening in surprise. ‘Then McClain and Garett disappeared into space and it was quiet for some time. But then – then the Galra attacked us, and then Professor Holt told us about you, about the Paladins of Voltron and – and I was jealous.

‘That’s the main reason I hate you so much, actually. You were-are-good at flying, and you’re intelligent, though you never put it to use and you were acting like nothing ever mattered – I guess it made me angry and I just lashed out at you because of that.’

Keith can almost feel his eyes popping out of his head, as Griffin continues, hands fiddling with each other, ‘But – I’m sorry, okay? I know you probably won’t forgive me for anything, but an apology was way overdue.’ At this, Griffin meets Keith’s eyes, and repeats, ‘You probably wouldn’t forgive me for anything, but I truly am sorry for everything. And – this is probably hoping for too much, but – if you do forgive me – though that’s probably never going to happen – can we at least try to be friends?’

Keith stares blankly. All through his life, no one’s ever actually apologized to him. Sure, there’s an offhand apology here and there, but never a sincere and thought-out apology like this. And-maybe the best thing to do is refuse, but Keith’s learned a lot during his years in space, and if there’s one thing he knows, keeping grudges is never really going to have a good outcome.

‘Well? Say something, Kogane.’ Griffin stares at him, arms crossed, almost in indignation, while he waits for a reply, and Keith can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.

‘Might as well call me by my first name if we’re going to be friends.’

Griffin’s eyes wide, and he looks really surprised, but this time, Keith cuts him off before he can start.

‘Look, I’m not forgiving you for everything, but I took my anger out on you when we were younger. So, I’m sorry, too. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, keeping grudges always makes things worse. And I’m willing to try again.’

Keith’s never been the best at words, but he thinks he’s done good this time when Griffin’s face breaks out in a large smile.

Keith walks back to the room he and Lance are sharing, surprised to find the other lounging on his bed rather than with one of the others.

‘Hey, man,’ Lance greets him when Keith walks through the door, ‘What did Griffin want?’ He’s already changed, Keith notes, in a pair of jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt, sitting on his bed and tapping on his phone.

‘He wanted to apologize to me,’ Keith shrugs, ‘Said he was sorry and asked if we could be friends.’

‘Wow.’ Keith shoots Lance a glare. ‘No, no, it’s just – I can imagine you punching him for that.’

Keith narrows his eyes as he takes off his armor. ‘I’m not that bad, Lance.’

‘Guess we all have changed, huh?’ Lance’s tone is teasing, but there’s an equal amount of softness and Keith really, _really_ , wants to kiss Lance for that.

He doesn’t reply, instead walking into the bathroom for a quick shower. He lets the warm water rush over him, before quickly washing his hair and rubbing at the sore spots on various parts of his body.

When he’s done, he wipes himself off, then scoffs at the ridiculous amount of beauty products that rest on their shared countertop. Though –

‘Lance,’ he calls, getting an answering reply of ‘Yeah?’ from the bedroom. ‘Can you do something for my hair later?’

There’s a short silence, and then Keith hears the smirk in Lance’s voice as he replies, ‘Sure thing.’

Later, when Keith emerges from the bathroom in a towel, Lance whistles at him.

‘Shut up.’

‘Dude, I didn’t even say anything.’

‘Well, you did just now.’

Lance laughs at Keith, and he finds himself laughing along – he’s finding it easier and easier to be around Lance these days, save for that enormous crush he has that won’t freaking _go away._

‘So,’ Lance says with a grin, ‘Want me to do your hair or what?’

‘No fancy stuff, okay?’ Keith warns, ‘Just to keep it out of my eyes.’

Lance rolls his eyes, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like ‘mullet head’ under his breath as he hops up to sit on the counter. Keith joins him a few seconds later, tugging on a t-shirt and halfway hopping into his pants.

‘Eager to see me now, huh?’ Lance teases, and Keith rolls his eyes before situating himself in front of Lance with his back to him.

‘Work your magic, your Majesty,’ Keith says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Lance ends up doing a French braid – which is admittedly good – that leaves Keith’s front bangs free and rests like a crown on his head, trailing back so that Lance can braid Keith’s mullet into it. ‘You’re the leader,’ Lance laughs a bit, ‘You deserve it.’

Keith rolls his eyes, examining his hair in the mirror. ‘This is actually nice.’

Lance huffs, ‘I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted.’

‘Both.’

‘Geez, the amount of salt you’re throwing at me could kill a demon.’

Keith rolls his eyes while Lance laughs.

‘Dude, at least you look a bit better now,’ Lance says.

‘You’re just jealous.’

Lance exaggerates an offended gasp, and Keith laughs when he says, ‘How dare you! Do you want to challenge me, the master of beauty and good hair?’

‘I thought you said it was Allura.’

Keith flops back onto his bed laughing as Lance splutters in the background.

The next day, Keith walks into the dining area with Lance beside him, trying to out-do each other with ridiculous conspiracy theories. It had started with Lance going, ‘The moon landing was faked,’ as a joke, and Keith had snorted, ‘you believe in the moon?’

And, everything had escalated.

By the time they’ve got to a free table, Lance is almost in tears, and Keith is saying through his laughter, ‘Earth is an anime girl, don’t question logic.’

Lance wheezes, clutching the side of the table so hard that Keith has to help him set his tray down on the table properly.

‘Oh-oh my god,’ Lance gasps out, wiping tears from his eyes, ‘This is gold.’

Keith laughs along, putting a hand on his stomach to try and uselessly stop the cramps that are beginning to form from laughing so hard.

‘Well, you guys look like you’re having fun,’ a new voice says, ‘Mind if we join?’

Keith looks up to see Griffin-James, now–and Veronica–Lance’s sister?–both holding a tray of their own food.

‘Not at all,’ Lance answers for them, moving aside so that Veronica can join him, and James settles down beside Keith.

‘So,’ Veronica starts, pointing her fork towards Keith, ‘tell us of your adventures, mighty Paladin.’

‘Hey!’ Lance squawks, ‘what about me?!’

Veronica pats him on the head, while James chuckles a bit, and Keith laughs a tiny bit before Veronica’s attention turns back onto him.

‘So?’ she prompts.

‘Uh,’ Keith stammers, eyes going a bit wide, ‘I don’t know where to start?’

James smirks, and Keith remembers it, when they were back in middle school and he’s going to say a particularly biting remark against Keith. ‘How about you tell us how you look so much better now?’

Okay, Keith is confused, but he says, ‘Lance did my hair this morning?’

Instead of teasing him, Lance crosses his arms and looks away, frowning a bit, while the other two laugh at Keith’s confusion.

‘He means,’ Veronica interjects, ‘You look older than the rest of your team, time-wise. How’d that happen?’

‘Ah,’ Keith says, ‘I was stuck on a space whale with my mom and my wolf, but the time there is a bit wacky, so we grew up two years faster.’

James looks mildly impressed, while Veronica presses on, ‘So you guys did kill the Galran emperor?’

‘Yup,’ Keith nods. ‘Actually, his son killed him – ‘

‘And he went bazookers over quintessence,’ Lance cuts in, ‘Also he manipulated Allura and betrayed the team. I told you guys he wasn’t on our side.’ Lance pouts, and it’s the most adorable thing Keith’s seen since the wolf was a baby.

‘I wasn’t there, Lance,’ he reminds, but a fond smile is tugging at his lips. ‘And I was the one who found out about it.’

‘Details,’ Lance says, waving his hand like he can bat them away.

‘So Lance was jealous of the guy?’ Veronica prods.

‘Yeah. He and Allura got close, I think? I wasn’t there, so I didn’t really know. He flirts with her all the time, so,’ Keith finishes, taking a bite of his noodles. Damn. Hunk’s cooking and Earth materials really go well.

‘Hmm,’ Veronica says, leaning back a bit, but then not saying anything more.

‘So meet any hot aliens?’ James teases, and Keith rolls his eyes.

‘Ask Lance. I’m sure he knows, considering he almost got killed by one.’

‘Oh, really?’ James asks, eyes almost glinting.

‘Shut up,’ Lance grumbles, ‘You two don’t have to team up to torture me.’

‘Over-dramatic as always,’ Veronica says, fondness creeping into her voice.

James turns to Keith, leaning an elbow on the table as he asks, ‘By the way, you’re half Galra, right?’

Keith almost stiffens up, but he forces himself to relax as he says, ‘Yeah. It’s why I have this mark.' He gestures to it on his right cheek.

‘Like your mom, right?’ James continues when Keith nods, ‘Makes you look hot.’

Keith laughs a bit awkwardly. After all, it’s not every day your former rival-who-wants-to-be-your-friend compliments your scar. ‘Thanks, I guess?’

James laughs, but Lance frowns, and Keith can see his sister throw a glance out of the corner of her eye. They sit like that for a while, eating their breakfast in silence.

‘This is damn good,’ Veronica says, ‘Hunk is a pretty good chef.’

‘He’s awesome, more like,’ Lance corrects her, smugness seeping into his voice, ‘He made food for us all the time, and half of the time it turned out really well.’

James raises an eyebrow. ‘And the other half?’

‘It exploded or was used in some part of the castle.’

They laugh, and sit and eat in comfortable silence until all of them have finished.

‘Well,’ James starts, standing up, ‘It was fun talking with you guys.’

Keith nods at them as they take their trays, but when Veronica walks away, James lingers for a few minutes.

‘Hey, uh, Keith,’ he starts, a bit hesitant, ‘Do you wanna spar with me this afternoon?’

Keith cocks his head to the side, ‘Sure. Is two okay for you?’

James nods, grinning as he says, ‘Can’t wait to kick your ass.’

Keith snorts, ‘You wish.’

Walking away, James smirks at him.

‘So,’ Lance starts, as they wander to the hangar, ‘You and Griffin are all buddy-buddy now, huh?’

Keith rolls his eyes, ‘No. We just agreed to be friends and try and ignore our past.’

Lance doesn’t say anything more, which is surprising, but when they get to their lions, he says, ‘Race? For old times’ sake?’

Keith smiles, ‘You know I’ll never stop racing with you.’

Lance grins at him, then walks into his lion.

Keith, though really reluctant, has grown used to flying the Black Lion and leading Voltron. But when he first got Red, he did have more time to just ride her for fun. With Black, it’s pretty hard to focus on fun.

But - it's fun with Lance. Soaring through the skies in Black with Lance by his side is almost energizing, in an ironic way. Hearing Lance whoop over the comm is exhilarating, to say the least. It’s the only piece of armor they have on them - both are still in their garrison clothes.

'Keith!' Lance shouts, 'Race you back to the garrison!'

In lieu of a reply, Keith thrusts forward, rearing up his lion so that Black speeds ahead of Red.

He hears Lance's groan, then the other's catching up, flying beside Keith as they near the garrison grounds.

Keith grits his teeth, though that doesn’t stop the smile creeping onto his face, and thrusts full power towards the ground.

Once he touches the ground, Lance groaning is an affirmation of his victory.

‘Not so sharp now, sharpshooter?’ Keith asks teasingly.

‘Fuck you, Keith.’

Keith laughs, powering down his lion, and walks out, meeting Lance outside, who turns his back on him with a pout and crossed arms.

Keith’s just opening his mouth to says something, but a new voice interrupts them.

‘Nice flying. You should show me around that lion of yours sometime.’

Keith turns around, to see James strolling towards them in his casual garrison clothes, with a small smirk on his face.

Immediately, out of the corner of his eye, Keith sees Lance frown, but before he can turn back, Lance says, ‘It’s alright, man. Go talk to him.’

Confused as to why Lance sounds so dejected so soon after having fun with him literally _seconds_ ago, Keith mumbles a _thank you_ and turns towards James.

‘James, hey. Didn’t know you were stalking us.’

James laughs then, ‘You wish.’

They stand in silence for a while, Keith going to his lion and gesturing at it once James cocks his head to the side.

‘You said you wanted to see my lion?’

James grins, though when he gets close enough, Keith thinks he mutters ‘oblivious’ before continuing on.

Keith shakes his head and goes to sit in his seat.

 

James’ eyes are almost sparkling, and Keith laughs a bit to himself as James fawns over the high-tech lion. Back on ground, Black says _This boy is nice_ inside Keith’s mind.

_Yeah, he is._

‘This is amazing,’ he sighs, ‘Keith, do you think I can fly this thing?’

Keith frowns, ‘I don’t know. Black doesn’t really allow anyone to fly her, but I could try telling her you’re curious I guess.’

He doesn’t really know how he’s going to do it, but he’d hate to see the excited gleam in James’ eyes disappear. With that, Keith stands up, and James takes his seat with a reverent awe that Keith’s only seen directed towards truly amazing pilots.

Keith closes his eyes, and takes a breath.

_Hey, Black. So James wants to try and pilot you. I promise he can be trusted, just please let him fly this once. You can trust him._

For a few moments, nothing really happens - and even though James and Keith only made up a couple days ago, Keith really doesn’t want to see James sad.

Then the controls light up, and Keith almost can’t hear the awed and completely amazed gasp that comes out of James’ mouth over the controls flickering alive.

Slowly, James directs Black into the air, slower than Keith is really used to.

‘Go faster,’ Keith tells James, who starts, almost as if he’d forgotten Keith was there.

He suddenly lurches forward as James pushes the lever too hard, and James laughs at him.

Arrogant brat.

Though, after a few minutes, James gains control of the lion - not as good as Shiro, but that’s to be expected - and they fly around like that, Keith leaning on the back of the seat and watching James’ face light up in childish joy.

‘Better than your MFE?’

James snorts. ‘You bet. This is so amazing to control.’

‘Red’s faster.’

‘Lance, right?’

Keith nods when James turns around to look at him. ‘I used to fly Red, but I had to take over when Shiro...went missing.’

‘He died, right?’ James asks softly, and Keith looks at him in surprise. ‘I heard Iverson and him talking. They didn’t know I was there.’

‘Heh, yeah.’

‘Uh, this is probably impolite to ask but - why didn’t Officer Shirogane become the leader again?’

Keith frowns. ‘He did, for a while when I quit.’

‘Wait, you _quit_?‘

A sudden alert jolts them both out of their conversation, and Keith gets an alert to his comm.

‘Hello?’

‘Keith, yeah this is Lance.’

‘Anything wrong?’

‘Uh, there’s a small Galra fleet in the area you’re in. I think you can take it by yourself.’

‘Okay. Is everything all right there?’

‘Yeah, peachy. It’s just that one small fleet. Call me when you’re safe, okay?’

‘Got it.’

Lance clicks out, and Keith turns his attention to James, who is looking at him worriedly.

‘Anything wrong?’

Keith takes his place behind James again. ‘Small Galra fleet around here. We’re by ourselves.’

James starts to get out of the seat, only stopping when Keith shakes his head. ‘Aren’t you flying this thing?’

‘Nah, it’s a small fleet.’ Keith smirks at him, a hint of challenge in his eyes. ‘Are you saying you can’t take a small fleet, even in an invulnerable machine?’

James frowns at him at first, thought it soon turns into a smirk when he recognizes the friendly challenge in Keith’s voice.

He drops back down into the seat, taking control and Keith moves beside him to help a bit.

Tapping on the screen, Keith directs James to the place the fleet is gathered at. It’s only about a dozen of them or so, and it’ll be pretty easy to take them out.

‘Okay, then,’ Keith says, ‘Show me what you got, Griffin.’

James laughs, then charges.

 

James is exhilarated. Keith can tell, by the gleam in his eyes, the trembling of his hands as the grip the controls, his breathing heavy and ragged after they’ve defeated the drones.

Keith backs away to call Lance.

‘Keith, you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m great.’

There’s a short silence, then, ‘What about Griffin?’

‘Well...’ Keith lets himself trail off, wondering whether or not he should tell Lance.

‘Well what?’

‘James was piloting Black.’

A long silence, this time, and Keith can almost feel Lance’s - well, he can’t name the emotion, but it’s definitely not happy when he says, ‘Well. That’s good for him, then. Black let him?’

‘I persuaded her,’ Keith says, feeling oddly proud of himself, ‘But this is just a one-time thing.’

Another pause. ‘Okay. Come back safe, okay?’

Keith snorts. ‘Of course.’

Lance clicks off, and Keith almost misses James saying, ‘Do we have to go back now?’

‘Huh?’

‘The garrison,’ James explains, sounding almost sad, ‘Do they want us back right now?’

‘Lance didn’t say anything, so I think it’s fine. We can stay longer if you want,’ Keith offers, then grins when James offers him a guilty smile.

 

Shiro and Lance are waiting for them when they get back, and Keith smiles when James mournfully gets out of the seat. It’s nice to see someone else other than his team so happy to fly their lion.

‘Keith. James,’ Shiro greets them once they hop out, directing his next sentence to James, ‘I heard you flew Black?’

‘Yes sir,’ James says respectfully, and looks at him in surprise when Shiro laughs.

‘Well, Black probably thinks you’re a good leader,’ Shiro says, ‘Either that, or Keith convinced her very well.'

James blushes, and Keith leaves him to talk with Shiro for a while, gesturing for Lance to follow him so they can talk alone.

‘Yeah?’

Keith clears his throat, and says, a bit awkwardly, ‘Is everything alright?’

Lance’s eyes go marginally wide, and he says, ‘Yup, fine, everything’s fine! Why do you ask?’

Keith narrows his eyes a bit, crossing his arms, ‘You’ve been a bit distant? You seem sad too. I wondered if anything was up?’

Lance shakes his head a bit too quickly. ‘Nah, man, everything’s fine! Thanks for worrying, though.’

Keith isn’t really convinced, but he lets the subject drop with a nod, and walks back to where Shiro and James are, apparently, discussing battle tactics and how to improve the MFEs even though Pidge and Hunk are the technical experts.

‘Keith,’ James says, once he’s close enough, ‘It’s almost two. Do you wanna go spar now or go change?’

‘I’m fine how I am,’ Keith replies, ‘You?’

‘Same here. Let’s go then?’

Keith nods, then turns to Shiro, who’s watching them with slight curiosity, and Lance, who looks, _again_ , sad and disappointed. ‘I’ll talk to you guys later.’

Shiro dismisses them with a nod, and Keith starts walking together with James.

 

As soon as he gets to the training deck, Keith starts to stretch, asking James for assistance when he can’t do everything by himself.

‘You’re really flexible,’ James remarks, pushing Keith down so that his head touches his knees, ‘I’m almost surprised.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Keith grunts.

‘Well, for one, you seem like you’d take it way too seriously,’ James says, laughing a bit, ‘But you also look like you just wanna fight and forgo all stretching.’

‘I’m not that much of a heathen,’ Keith grumbles, standing up and helping James stretch in turn, ‘It’s Lance who ignores all stretching and says he’s ready when you can hear his joints cracking from miles away.’

James lets out a short burst of laughter.

Once they finish, Keith turns to James and asks, ‘With or without weapons?’

‘Without.’ James smirks, moving back a bit, ‘Although, I’d love it if you could show me how to use a sword.’

Keith huffs a small laugh. ‘Some other time then.’

By a mutual unspoken agreement, both of them fall silent after that, and Keith only breaks the silence to say, ‘You attack first.’

James nods in agreement, then flies forward, thrusting his fist towards Keith’s face. _Not too bad_ , Keith thinks, as he dodges the throw, _A bit inexperienced but fast._

Striking at Keith’s waist, James does an impressive flip, trying to get at Keith from the back. But years of experience and sharpness honed from Shiro’s teachings have left him prepared, and - it’s practically nothing, if he’s being honest; almost like James is a jar of peanut butter next to Zarkon.

Uh, not that anything’s wrong with peanut butter, obviously, Keith likes the stuff, but it’s still helpless against people like Lotor and Zarkon.

Keith’s mind is so preoccupied with comparing James to peanut butter that he doesn’t notice the swing that comes to his left side, one that slips past his defenses and leaves Keith gasping for breath.

James’ face holds a bit of triumph, and Keith wants to wipe that smile off his face.

Twisting around, he catches James’ ankle with one hand, and uses his other to support himself, swings his legs around so that he can trip him, sending him tumbling onto the ground.

‘I thought,’ James gasps, scrambling up and backing away for a bit, ‘You were on the defense?’

Keith allows himself a smirk. ‘Always be prepared for battle.’

Being in battle or even just plain fighting has Keith exhilarated, senses sharpening until he can channel all his adrenaline and concentration into every aspect of his enemy and himself. Keith thinks he hears James groan, before he advances again, this time making sure that he covers all his weak spots.

They go at it for a few minutes, and Keith sees James’ energy wavering, sees the small drops of sweat that are forming - it’s understandable, seeing as that James isn’t used to this.

After James goes in for an attack, Keith blocks it, and decides to end it. He reaches behind James, too fast for the other to comprehend, and grabs his back, drawing James towards himself, and in the last possible second, he twists his feet over James, taking hold of his arms and using his momentum to push James onto the ground.

James lets out a surprised exhale, mouth grinning and breath coming out too fast as he stares up at Keith, pinning him to the ground with both hands and a knee on his chest to keep him from moving.

‘Well,’ he finally says after a few moments, staring into Keith’s eyes, ‘I can now see why they say you’re so good, Kogane.’

Keith chuckles, rearranging himself into a more comfortable position. It isn’t until it’s too late that he realizes that he’s essentially straddling James’ hips. Oh well, too late.

‘I’m surprised you didn’t notice earlier,’ Keith replies, too fixated on how James seems so malleable under him. It reminds him of times long past, when they were kids fooling around, with nothing but anger, hate and frustration running through their veins.

James lets out a quiet laugh, his gaze seeming to flit off to the side for a moment, then returns back to Keith, meeting his eyes with his own blue-grays.

And, without warning, he tips his head up, lifting himself up the tiniest bit so that his lips reach Keith’s.

Keith, though mildly taken aback, presses back, with a fervor that he hasn’t used since he left the garrison. James’ lips are still warm, even after all this time, and he still kisses like the way he used to; soft, but with an edge to it, a challenge, that Keith finds himself drawn to.

Suddenly, he feels a shift under him, and barely manages to restrain James as the other attempts to throw him off balance.

Pulling away, Keith chuckles a bit at James’ redder-than-usual lips, and says, ‘Playing dirty, Griffin?’

James smirks up at him, eyes half-lidded, and _fuck_ Keith wishes it didn’t look like Lance when he was flirting with someone. ‘You wish, Kogane.’

This time, it’s Keith that leans down to initiate the kiss, tongue slipping easily onto James’ mouth even after many years of not being able to touch each other.

‘Fuck, Keith,’ James swears first, when Keith breaks away, trailing a line of kisses down his neck, then biting down into the junction where James’s neck meets his collarbone.

Keith chuckles lowly, listening to James let out a surprised moan of ‘ngh?’ as he trails his tongue over the spot he’s bitten.

Fuck he thinks he’s hard.

James struggles a tiny bit under him, and Keith immediately lets go, sitting back so that he can escape if James is feeling uncomfortable. Unfortunately - or fortunately - Keith forgets momentarily that he’s been straddling James this entire time, sits back onto his crotch, and finds that James is hard as well.

Well. This isn’t an entirely unpleasant situation.

‘James?’ Keith hates the way his voice sounds uncertain, but before he can get too ahead of his thoughts James is sitting up as well.

‘Can we - ‘ he gasps, hands tightening on Keith’s waist, ‘Can we go back to - ?’

He doesn’t have to complete the sentence before Keith’s nodding, standing up with his legs a bit unsteady, pulling James along with him as well.

‘Yours or mine?’ Keith asks, breath coming out harried and ragged.

‘Mine,’ James says, and he looks one second away from kissing Keith again, so Keith does it for him, cupping James’ cheeks in his hands and drawing him in for another messy, desperate kiss as James’ hands fist at the bottom of Keith’s hair.

‘We - we should go back,’ Keith gets out between furious kisses, before he loses his coherency.

James nods breathlessly, and then they’re stumbling in the direction of his room.

 

In his haze, he doesn’t notice the person in the shadows.

Or that they’re furiously rubbing at their eyes.

 

Keith wakes up the next morning, sore and achey, but in a good kind of way that makes him feel sated and happy. The warm weight on top of him shifts, and Keith belatedly realizes he’s got an arm around them as he struggles to find a new comfortable spot.

Then James’ head rises a bit, and he slurs, ‘Mornin’.’

Keith laughs quietly. ‘Morning to you too.’

WIth that, James slumps onto Keith again, nuzzling his face into the crook of Keith’s neck.

‘Hey,’ Keith shakes the other, ‘You waking up anytime soon?’

‘No,’ James grumbles.

‘How ‘bout if I suck you off?’

There’s a short silence, and Keith grins, knowing that he’s full well persuaded James into waking up.

James rolls over onto his back, arm covering his eyes to shield them from the morning light, and grumbles, ‘It better be a damn good one.’

 

With that, Keith, smirking, wastes no time and dives down to give James fuckin’ Griffin the best wake-up call of his life.

 

 When they finally get out of bed, Keith has several bite marks on his neck and he fishes around in his pants pockets in search of his phone. Beside him, James stretches, beginning to walk towards his closet so that he can pick out some clothes for both him and Keith. It's their off-day, and Keith has a good idea of how they can spend it.

 While James throws him some clothes and barks at him to get up and shower, Keith blinks at the five new unread messages on his phone.

 

  _hey dude u okay_

_its way past curfew_

_r u anywhere i kno??_

_keith im serious pls answer_

_c'mon don't leave me hanging_

 

 Keith grimaces, trudging towards the shower with a towel and the clothes under his arm while texting Lance back with one hand.

 

  _hey sry i didn't answer earlier i fell asleep_

_im fine_

_thanks for worrying tho_

 

James seems to notice Keith's mood, and he stops him just before he goes into the bathroom.

 'Man, you alright?'

 Keith nods, tearing his eyes away from the screen. 'It's just Lance.'

 James raises an eyebrow at him, but doesn't question Keith as he goes into the shower.

 Turning on the warm water, Keith tries to relax, letting the warm water soak his hair - and he runs his fingers through them, straightening the knots out, but his fingers trip on one of Lance's clips and his hair tie.

 Holding them, Keith just  _stares -_ and suddenly he can't tell the difference between the warm water hitting his face and the tears sliding down his cheeks.

 

 'Hey,' James greets him when Keith comes out of the shower, dressed in one of James' loose t-shirts and a pair of dark skinny jeans, 'Is anything wrong?'

 Keith arches an eyebrow at him, and James' rolls his eyes and mutters, 'Smartass.'

 James is sitting down on his bed, casually dressed in some cargo pants and a t-shirt that's similar to what Keith is wearing. Keith joins him.

 'Seriously,' James says after a moment, 'What's wrong?'

 Keith exhales through his nose, collapsing back onto the pillow. 'Nothing, James. Drop it.' He closes is eyes, hands behind his head as James yawns beside him.

 James stays quiet from then, and Keith is only starting to relish the silence when he breaks it again. 'Do you like Lance?' Dammit Keith wants a break.

 He lets the silence stay on for a bit longer, before he finally sits up with a groan and sees James staring at him quizzically.

 'Yeah,' Keith finally admits, 'Yeah. I like Lance.'

 James doesn't reply to that with an actual answer, letting out a soft hum - which Keith is grateful for, honestly. But a few minutes later, he asks, 'Why haven't you told him yet?'

 Keith raises an eyebrow. 'What makes you think I haven't?'

 At that, James lets out a wry laugh. 'If you have, you'd be prancing in your own dreamland and you wouldn't have had sex with me.'

 'And what makes you think Lance likes me back?'

 'Oh my god - ' James says, though it sounds the most incredulous Keith's ever heard, 'Oh my god, you're an idiot.'

 Keith narrows his eyes, 'Excuse me?'

 James laughs, dry and wheezing, and Keith can't help but take offense that he's making fun of him.

 'Oh my fucking god Keith,' James says, 'You - you're like the leader of the most important figure in the universe, and you - oh my god.'

 James isn't stopping with his tirade of laughs, and Keith feels himself beginning to grow irritated, and he lets out a growl.

 'Oh god,' James says again, 'Keith, this isn't something I can tell you. Just - be more observant, okay?'

 Keith wants to punch James.

 Deciding to let it go, Keith stands up and offers James a hand. 'Breakfast?'

 James grins up at him.

 

 'Keith!'

 Keith stops talking to James at the sound of Lance's voice, turning back to see the red paladin catching up with them quickly.

 'Go ahead?'

 James nods at Keith's request, and turns away to go to the dining area.

 'Lance,' Keith greets as soon as Lance's caught up with him, 'Good morning?'

 'Mornin' to you too, good fellow!' Lance tease, though there's an edge to his voice that Keith can't really identify, 'You had me worried last night, man!'

 Keith rubs the back of his neck. 'Yeah, sorry. I fell asleep.'

 Lance grins at him. 'Had a good night?'

 Narrowing his eyes, Keith says, 'What?'

 Smirking, Lance gestures to his own neck, and Keith, with a sense of horror and ultimate doom, reaches up to touch his own neck.

 Fuck.

 'Dammit,' Keith growls under his breath, as Lance laughs at him. Bastard.

 (A tiny part of him is hurt, but Keith isn't going to acknowledge that. Not now, not ever.)

 'Well,' he says, with an air of finality, 'Glad to see you're safe, buddy. Now go do whatever or whoever you're doing.'

 Keith glares at him.

 

 'Hey,' Keith says, sliding his tray onto the table, 'Sorry for the holdup.'

 'It's fine,' James shrugs, then gives him a side smirk. 'So - '

 'Shut the fuck up.'

 James laughs.

 And chokes on his bread.

 

 'So, what are we doing today, mighty paladin?' James teases him when Keith leads him to the barely-used garage in the smaller part of the garrison.

 'Shut up.'

 James chuckles and follows Keith to where an old motorbike is sitting, a really out-of-date one, that, thankfully, still seems to work and has two dusty helmets perched on top of it. Keith tosses one of the helmets to James, who brushes it off with a frown, watching Keith as he hops onto the seat and revs up the engine.

 'Seems like this works,' Keith mumbles to himself, and then it only takes them a few minutes to drag to thing out into open air. It's still in a good enough condition, Keith thinks, considering it's not been in use for almost five years.

 Hopping onto the seat again, Keith cocks his head to the side as he looks at James. 'You coming?'

 James looks a bit startled, but puts the helmet on and climbs on behind Keith, tentatively putting his hands around Keith's waist. 'Is this okay?'

 Keith snorts. 'James, you've touched me in parts almost no one has ever touched me, and you're worried about putting your hands on my  _waist?_ '

 He can almost hear James rolling his eyes behind him as his hands grip more firmly around his waist.

 'Hang on.'

 Immediately after that, Keith takes off, setting out a bit slow and making sure the thing isn't going to malfunction at every given minute. The wind rushes by them, and it's refreshing after so long of just flying inside something. Don't get him wrong, he loves flying the lions, but this is an entirely different feeling that Keith  _really_ misses. He speeds up, letting the roar of the wind whips past his ears as a warm weight settles onto his back - and it takes him a moment to realize that James is leaning his full body on Keith.

 He smiles, just a tiny bit.

 Finally, the small cabin comes into sight, and Keith speeds up, driving through the sandy dunes to skid to a stop in front of the door, which is hopefully locked - 

 Nope. Keith just hopes nothing’s been stolen. Or destroyed, though the place looks mostly intact, save for the fact that he left it standing alone for a few years.

 He makes to get off the bike, but James sags onto him, and it takes Keith a few seconds to realize that he’s actually fallen asleep. With a small scoff, Keith reaches up and shakes James awake.

 ‘I’m up, I’m up,’ he mumbles, shaking his head, ‘Shut up.’

 Keith raises an eyebrow. ‘I didn’t say anything.’

 ‘I don’t care, shut up.’

 Keith rolls his eyes, getting off, and cuts the engine. ‘Who knew James Griffin, of all people, doesn’t like mornings?’

 James punches him on his shoulder as Keith opens the door. ‘Well, _someone_ woke me up earlier than I was used to.’

 ‘Shut up, you liked it.’

 James’ smirk is almost audible from where Keith collects the keys to his hoverbike, and Keith resists the urge to punch James in the face. Uh, just as friends. Of course.

 James obediently follows Keith, going out the back of the house and standing by patiently as Keith examines his hoverbike.

 ‘Can you still use that thing?’ James asks, curiosity in his voice as he kneels down beside Keith.

 ‘Probably. I might need to fix a few things,’ Keith mutters, and then, louder, ‘Can you get me the toolbox from inside the shed?’

 James nods and gets up, leaving - and hopefully he’ll be back soon.

 After carefully examining it, Keith decides that it just needs some polishing up and outer fixing.

 ‘Here you go.’ James lugs the toolbox over, and Keith nods, thanking him wordlessly.

 They stay for a while in silence as Keith fixes his hoverbike, James silently observing from Keith’s side and occasionally handing him anything he needs.

 ‘You’re good at this stuff, huh?’ James says, almost sounding wistful.

 Keith shrugs as he climbs on; mechanics and tech have never really been his forte. ‘Not really. Hunk and Pidge are way better. I just know some basic stuff.’

 James nods appreciatively, following behind Keith. Keith settles into his seat even though it’s been forever since he last used it, and the controls seem familiar as ever when Keith gets the hoverbike going.

 ‘Are you sure this is safe?’ James says, right behind Keith’s ear.

 Keith wants to roll his eyes. ‘You know that whatever I do isn’t safe, James.’ With that, he picks up speed, doing a few rounds and then onto a trail he’s practiced on for so long. It's the one where he's ridden with the other paladins, when they had found Shiro, and the place where Shiro had trained him for days on end.

 'Wait, Keith, are you doing what I think you're doing?' James yells over the wind, grip almost bone-crushing on Keith's waist as they approach the cliff. 'Keith,  _no_!'

 Keith grins, laughing over James' increasingly worried yells, 'Just shut up and trust me!'

 As soon as he finishes talking, the hoverbike's airborne, and Keith feels weightless in the air, even though James' slightly terrified squeaks keep making him want to laugh. This -  _this_ is something he's missed so much, and he closes his eyes for a second, relishing in the warm air and the warmer weight of James against his back.

 It's invigorating.

 At the last moment, Keith pulls up, jerking the controls so that his hoverbike just barely touches the ground and speeds across the land without any problems. Heh, it's good to see Keith hasn't lost this skill, at least.

 When they finally slow down to a stop, James punches him on his arm. 'I hate you!'

 'The feeling's mutual,' Keith says, exaggerating a bow and tucking his helmet under his arm.

 James laughs, and he sounds breathless and  _alive,_ and that makes Keith smile too, laughing along when James punches him again with a 'Where did you learn this from? Wait, don't tell me, I bet it's Shiro.'

 Keith only laughs at him.

 After James has caught his breath, Keith climbs on again, gesturing for James to follow suit - and they ride like that, James chattering away in Keith's ear and sometimes squeaking when Keith does a dangerously sharp turn. They take their helmets off halfway through the ride, and at one point James makes joke about Keith mussed-up hair and the way he's desperately trying to keep it out of his face.

 Out of nowhere, James produces a hair-band, and ties Keith's hair up in a loose ponytail. (Keith tries not to think about how different his fingers feel from Lance's.)

 Keith laughs along, and -

 The worn leather grip feels like home.

 

 Late in the afternoon, they arrive back at the garrison, stomachs grumbling and James' hair worse for wear.

 'Hey,' James says suddenly while they're getting a really late lunch, 'I-I don't know how to explain it but-'

 He trails off, and Keith waits until they're seated at a table to say, 'It's fine. Try me.'

 James rolls his eyes, picking at his bowl of rice. 'Fine then. So, when I was piloting the black lion, I felt like it - she - was talking to me? I don't know, but it was like she was telling me what to do, especially when we fought the cruisers.'

 Keith nods in understanding. 'Yeah, I asked her to let you fly for a while. That kind of stuff happens.'

 James lets out a small 'ah' in understanding. 'But-after we got off, it's like the link was cut off or something?'

 'Of course,' Keith says, gulping down a spoon of his own rice, 'It's only a temporary bond, and, besides, you're lucky enough that Black let you fly her.'

 James nods, and the rest of the lunch is silent as they stuff their stomachs with Hunk's cooking.

 

 Keith and James part ways, but Keith promises to spar with James and teach him some stuff for the next time they meet.

 With that, Keith wanders the halls, walking leisurely and sometimes checking for Shiro or the others.

 A hand claps him on the shoulder, and before he knows what he's doing, Keith's pinned the person to the wall beside him.

 It's Lance, blue eyes wide and mouth slightly agape as he stares at Keith. And - Keith curses himself, because there's no way anyone could look this pretty, blue eyes sparkling under the bright lights of the hallways and a tint of pink to his cheeks.

 Keith tells himself it's the sudden movement.

 'Woah, hey, man, buddy,' Lance tries to wave his arms around, 'It's Lance!'

 Keith's eyes go wide and he startles, backing off so quickly he almost trips over his own feet. 'Uh, sorry,' he blurts out in an attempt to quell his heart that's beating  _way too fast_ for his goddamn liking.

 'It's fine,' Lance laughs, brushing himself off. 'Can I walk with you? Where're you going?'

 Keith shrugs, starting to walk in the direction he's been walking before Lance had appeared, trusting that Lance will follow after.

 They don't really go anywhere in particular, but Keith listens to Lance ramble on and on with a soft smile on his face. He laughs when Lance says something stupid, and he tells himself that he isn't hopelessly endeared by the pout on Lance's face.

 Time passes like that, and Lance says at one point, 'Tell me if I'm talking too much, okay? People say I get too annoying when I'm like that.'

 'It's fine,' Keith says gruffly.  _Who told this beautiful boy he's annoying I will punch them in the face and break all their bones and make their life hell-_

He's broken out of his thoughts by a slight nudge to his shoulder, and Keith blinks rapidly to see that Lance is frowning at him worriedly.

 'You okay there?' Lance asks, concern tinging his voice, and Keith wants to kick himself for that, 'You were glaring into the floor, I was worried you got laser eyes or something.'

 Ah, there it is. Lance's brand of concern masked as humor.

 'It's nothing,' Keith says, trying for a small smile. By now, they've stopped walking, and they're simply standing in the middle of the hall leading to the dorm rooms.

 Lance opens his mouth to say something else, but before he can get a word out, they're interrupted by someone else.

 'Hope I'm not interrupting anything,' Veronica says, and Keith wants to say that,  _yes_ , she  _is_ interrupting something, but Lance beats him to the chase.

 'No, it's fine.' Lance eye twitches a bit, 'Did you want anything?'

 Veronica huffs out a laugh. 'I wanted to invite you guys to a party of sorts in our room. The rest of you team is already there.'

 'Okay,' Lance agrees easily, 'Who's going to be there?'

 'Uh,' Veronica counts on her fingers as she speaks. 'Me, James' team, and your team - but Allura said she was busy. That's it. We'd invite Officer Shiro but the others are too scared.'

 Both Lance and Keith laugh at that, and Keith agrees for the both of them.

 

 When they arrive, James, Rizavi, and Hunk are talking, and Leifsdottir and Kinkade are sitting quietly in a corner with Pidge - probably talking about tech or something equally as confusing to Keith. They're also in their pajamas, and Keith thanks Veronica inwardly for making him and Lance change before they came here.

 James looks up, and says, 'Hey, guys. Welcome to the party,' though it looks like less of a party and more like a sleepover, what with the sleeping bags strewn all around the place.

 'Hey,' Keith and Lance say in unison, and Lance rolls his eyes and punches Keith softly on his arm.

 'So,' Keith says, sitting down on one of the beanbags-how'd he even  _get_ that in here- 'What are we doing here?' He watches fondly as Lance plops himself down onto the ground near Keith. Veronica goes to sit backwards on James' desk chair.

 'We were going to play some games and whatever,' Rivazi answers, eyes almost glittering behind her glasses, 'And you guys can stay the night if you want to.'

 Keith nods, and Hunk says, 'We were waiting for you two. Seriously, what were you guys doing?'

 'Walking around.'

 'Talking.'

 Lance and Keith look at each other, and share a laugh, before Lance sums it up for both of them. 'Both. We were doing both.'

 The room collective rolls their eyes, and Keith doesn't have to look to know that James' infuriating smirk is back on his face.

 'Okay!' James claps his hands, 'Who wants to play never have I ever?'

 'Aren't you people, like underage?' Pidge pops out from the corner.

 'No we aren't,' Rizavi says, sounding slightly offended. 'The garrison doesn't allow it anyways, so we're just playing for fun. James is a stickler for rules anyways.'

 James is probably throwing an offended look at her right now.

 'Well,' Pidge grumbles, 'Count us out then.'

 Lance rolls his eyes, dismissing them and turning back to Keith, 'Don't cop out on me now, samurai.'

 Keith grins. 'You wish, sharpshooter.'

 They both ignore Veronica making retching noises in the background.

 

 They sit in a circle on the ground - Hunk, James, Keith, Lance, Veronica, and Rizavi - and Veronica volunteers to go first. They're just counting on their hands - everyone starts off with ten fingers and the first one to lose all fingers loses.

 'Never have I ever-' she takes a second to think -'cried because someone stole my socks when I was two.'

 It's strangely specific, but Keith soon finds out why as soon as Lance puts down one finger and says indignantly, 'I was two! I cried at everything!'

 Veronica just smirks.

 Then, it's Lance's turn - they're starting from her and going left - who says, 'Never have I ever tried to sacrifice my life-'

 'That's not valid, Lance,' Keith interrupts him, huffing out a tiny laugh, ' _You_ did that for Allura. You can't single me out.'

 Lance grumbles a bit, then changes it to, 'Never have I ever been booted from the garrison.'

 'Technically that's still not valid because we escaped in Blue, Lance,' Hunk puts in, smiling when Lance gasps that he's been betrayed.

 'Fine!' Lance finally exclaims, 'Never have I ever piloted Red-'

 'Lance,  _you're_ piloting Red.'

 Everyone snickers, and Lance rolls his eyes. 'Uh, never have I ever been a Blade member.'

 Finally, Keith rolls his eyes and puts down one finger.

 'My turn,' he says, 'Never have I gotten handcuffed to a tree while trying to flirt with a girl because I wasn't paying attention and had my lion stolen.'

 Lance blushes an angry red as another one of his fingers go down, and Veronica leans towards Keith. 'Now  _this_ is something you gotta tell me.'

 Keith explains it, very briefly, and Veronica laughs and pats Lance on his head. 'There there, lil' brother.'

 Rizavi whistles, 'I  _like_ her.'

 Hunk and Veronica lose one finger when it's James' turn - 'Never have I ever been like a mother to my friends or family' - and Rizavi and James lose a finger when Hunk puts out an innocent 'Never have I ever owned a cat.'

 When it's Rivazi's turn, she says, with a grin, 'You guys are so boring. The whole point of this is to find out everyone's secrets! So - never have I ever had sex with someone in this circle.'

 James and Keith share a look, simultaneously putting down a finger. The rest of the circle stares in disbelief.

 'Dude,' Hunk says, looking the most betrayed Keith's ever seen him. ' _Dude_.'

 'Seriously?  _James_ , of  _all_ people?' Pidge yells from the other side of the room.

 'Shut up, Pidge,' Keith yells back.

 There's a split-second pause, then James leans across Keith, and says to Lance, 'You don't look surprised, though?'

 Lance shrugs, grinning, but Keith notices when his shoulders seem to tense up. 'Hey, Keith already told me, so.'

 Hunk, if possible, looks probably more betrayed than before. 'Dude. You told Lance and you didn't tell me? I'm hurt.'

 Keith glares at James. 'No. This bastard left marks on me, and Lance was the only one who saw.' Allura saw him too, and asked if it was from Lance, but Keith isn't going to say that. Definitely not.

 Veronica raises an eyebrow, but she doesn't say anything and lets the game continue on.

 

 In the end, Lance ends up losing with the combined efforts of Keith and Veronica, and he whines for five minutes into Hunk's shoulder about how he's been betrayed while Keith and Veronica share embarrassing stories about Lance.

 'Keeiiiitttthhhhh,' Lances whines out, 'I thought we bonded!'

 'Oh, so  _now_ you remember it?' Keith asks teasingly. He adds, 'Don't worry, we still love you.' He freezes for a moment, and he swears James shoots him a surprised look-and normally he wouldn't have said anything, but there his mouth goes, working faster than his brain.

 Keith breathes a sigh of relief when Lance pretends to sniffle, hugging Hunk and starting to sing BTS's Fake Love in an annoyingly loud, over-dramatic voice.

 'Guys, we have some food here,' Rizavi says, holding out a tray, 'Courtesy of Hunk.'

 They each grab a burger and a drink, and Keith makes sure Hunk knows it's one of the best things he's ever tasted.

 

 When they finish with Truth or Dare and Twister, James and Keith collectively decide that it's time for sleep - reasonable, seeing as that it's past midnight - and since it's too late to sneak back to the dorms, James offers his and Kinkade's room and drags out several extra futons and pillows.

 Keith freezes in place when he's hit with something soft from the back. The whole room goes quiet, and Keith slowly turns back to see Lance with a horrified look on his place.

 He slowly shuffles toward where Lance is sitting, and he can see the other gulp, and just as he's too close to Lance, Keith whips out a pillow from his side and suffocates Lance in it.

 Lance screams, grappling with Keith and throwing a stray pillow of his own in return, but as he is visually impaired and Keith's good at dodging, it hits Pidge square in the head.

 Fuck.

 There's an even tenser silence, and during the five seconds where Pidge calms herself down Keith braces for his imminent death.

 'YOU TWO,' she roars, 'ARE GOING  _DOWN._ '

 They scream.

 

 Everyone's winded. Mostly Keith and Lance because of Pidge, but the others also joined in and made it hard for them to escape her fiery, vengeful grasp. Keith had landed a solid blow at least one on each of the MFEs, and he's at least proud to say that he isn't going to die immediately.

 When everyone's calmed down, it's already past one, and Keith does a final count of the people, only -

 'James, I think we need an extra futon.'

 James looks around, confused - he and Kinkade are sharing his bed, Pidge is sharing a large thick blanket with Veronica, Rizavi and Leifsdottir are taking Kinkade's bed and Lance is alone - and says, 'Huh?'

 'I'm not just going to sleep on the floor, y'know.'

 James rolls his eyes, and gets up, trudging to his storage cupboard. 'I think I don't have anymore,' he yells out a few seconds later.

 Keith groans.  _Fuck, where the hell is he going to sleep?_

 James returns, and, offering a shrug, he asks, 'Can't you just sleep with someone?'

 Keith opens his mouth to say no, when Lance says, a bit hesitantly, 'I don't mind sharing, if you want.'

 Keith thinks he hears at  _least_ five people gasp over-dramatically, but he ignores that in favor of mumbling, 'If you don't mind, thanks.'

 James grins a bit, and Keith thinks that bastard did this on  _purpose._

 'Well,' Lance says cheerfully, patting the space next to him. 'Come here then, samurai.'

 Keith rolls his eyes, and gets in, shifting around so that he can make himself comfortable. There's no way he and Lance can sleep together without at least one part of their bodies touching, and Keith tries in vain to quell his beating heart.  _No_ , he tells himself firmly.  _You are not going to take advantage of this in any way, Keith Kogane._

When everyone's settled in and the lights are out, Keith jumps at the sudden whisper in his ear. 'Hey, do you mind if I put my arm around you?'

 'Okay,' Keith says, on the verge of falling asleep. 'No spooning.'

 He hears a quiet snort and smiles.

 

  _Dark. Empty. It's cold._

_Flashes of-yellow?_

_Pain. So much pain._

_Shiro, with Galra eyes. Fighting him._

_Looks down. No-he's not-he's not one of **them**._

_It wasn't supposed to be like this. The pain-and hurt, Voltron is too much for him yet never enough._

_Lance and Hunk. Pigde and Shiro. He couldn't be there for them when they needed._

_'You didn't do anything for us.'_

_It sounds a lot like **we don't need you anymore**._

_Quicker-flashes, Shiro, Lance, Allura, Pidge._

_No-it's just a dream._

_Just because it's a dream doesn't mean it's not real, is it?_

 

 Keith's eyes snap open. His heart thuds in his chest and he can feel himself trembling, hands shaking from where they're trapped around-Lance?

 Right, they're sleeping together. Keith grits his teeth and tries to forget that dream-that  _nightmare_ -and, as softly and slowly as he can, removes his arms from around Lance, sitting up and clearing his head as much as he can-not that it's very helpful.

 In the dark, Keith looks down at Lance, sleeping on his stomach, arm pillowing his head, a trail of drool near the corner of his mouth, and Keith feels himself begin to smile a bit. Leaning down, he presses a quick kiss to Lance's forehead-and immediately pulls back, heart thudding in his chest for an entirely different reason now.

 Fuck, he can't go back to sleep.

 With that, he gets up, trying not to disturb Lance more than he already has, and gets out of the room.

 

 He ends up wandering the area, thankful that nobody else is up-it's probably best for him that they don't see him in his hippo pajamas.

 Keith ends up at the lions' hangar, and he goes to stand between Black and Red who are beside each other. Brushing his fingertips against the metal, Keith lets out a long exhale, looking up at both of them in their glory. It's amazing, how for he's come. How far  _all_ of them have come.

 'Keith?'

 Keith whips around, hand automatically going to his waist to grab his knife, but it isn't there; Keith curses himself. However, he relaxes when he sees Lance, looking adorably ruffled, hands rubbing at his half-closed eyes.

 'Lance,' he says as a greeting of sorts, 'What're you doing up?'

 Lance yawns, coming to stand beside Keith but changing his mind at the last second and going to lean against his lion. 'Saw you walking out,' he mumbles, 'Was curious.'

 Keith stops for a moment, because-what if Lance  _knows_? He shakes his head-hopefully Lance doesn't, and even if he does Keith can blame it on him being sleepy. He joins Lance, sitting down cross-legged and patting Lance's leg to tell him to sit down as well.

 And, for a while, they sit like that in silence, looking up at the stars that are visible from this part of the world.

 Lance is the first to break the silence, and he sounds decidedly more awake as he says, albeit a bit hesitantly, 'If there's anything you wanna talk about, you can talk to me, okay? I know you usually go to Shiro but since he's busy I wanted to let you know that I'm here for you too.'

 He's not entirely surprised by this, but Keith shifts the tiniest bit closer to Lance, and replies, 'You can talk to me too.'

 His words are short and clipped, but Lance understands him, and they lapse into a comfortable silence, and Keith almost wants to fall asleep right then and there, despite the fear that he'll get the nightmare again as soon as he closes his eyes.

 'I-'

 'So-'

 Both of them look at each other, then burst out laughing softly, leaning on each other. Lance chuckles, and says, 'You go first.'

 'No, it's fine.'

 'No you.'

 'Lance, you go first or I'm telling Shiro you dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.'

 Lance squawks angrily. 'How do you even know about that?!'

 Keith allows himself a small smirk. 'I have my resources. Now, are you going to go first or not?'

 Lance grumbles a bit, but finally gives in. 'I feel like I'm not enough. I feel like you're much better than me, and nothing I do will ever make me as good as you. Heck, I wanted Shiro to notice me-that guy's my hero!-but you, with your mullet and amazing flight skills just  _had_ to catch his attention.

 Keith balks back a little at that, eyes growing wide, and then wider as Lance places a hand on his arm. 'And I took out my anger on you. I wanted to be like you-and I wanted to be enough. In space, there wasn't anyone who could help me. Hunk helps, but he can only do so much.'

 Lance stops to take a breath, and only when Keith moves closer, he realizes that Lance's eyes are shining with tears. And-he's so fucking  _sad_ and Keith wants to do  _anything_ to make him smile goofily again, crack a dumb joke and laugh like when they first met.

 'Hey,' he says softly, gripping Lance's shoulders, 'Look at me, okay?'

 Lance looks at him, mouth still in a sad frown. 'Hm?'

 Keith takes a deep breath. Okay, he;s not good with words, but dammit it's going to try. 'Okay. I know this doesn't go away easily.' He talks slowly, trying to let himself think before he speaks. 'But-Lance, you're not worthless, okay? Everyone on the team needs you. You-you're like the glue that sticks us together. You make me a better person.' At this, Lance raises an eyebrow, mouth coming up in disbelief, and Keith chuckles, 'Well, not really, but you help to control me. You're the heart of the team. And-it's fine if you can't believe me, then that's fine.'

 Lance stares at him. Keith continues, 'I'll keep on saying it to you until you believe me. For however long it takes. I  _will_ keep telling you that you're valued, and nothing's going to stop me. Everyone needs and loves you, Lance. I-' Keith stops, aware that he might be possibly going too far with this, -'I need you.'  _I love you_ goes unspoken.

 Lance looks hopeful, but when Keith lets the silence linger on for a few seconds, he sighs, and his eyes are downcast again. Keith slowly, hesitantly, removes his hand from Lance's shoulder, placing it on Lance's cheek and raising his head up. Lance follows without restraint, eyes flicking up to meet Keith's own. It's only then that Keith realizes that they're too close-they must have moved together during Keith's talk-and that he's literally  _cradling_ Lance's cheek in his hand.

 Slowly, Keith wipes away a single tear from Lance's eyes-holy fuck how can a boy be this pretty it's not fair, it's not fair how his eyes are almost sparkling with unshed tears, wide and blue like the ocean, fuck,  _no,_ Keith this isn't the time for a gay panic-and urges him to take deep breaths.

 'Can I-' Lance says meekly, 'Can I have a hug?'

 Keith's not really surprised, but he lets Lance climb onto his lap, stroking his hair as Lance buries his face into Keith's shoulder. Minutes later, Keith feels something warm and wet seeping into his shoulder, and he pats Lance on the back, one hand stroking his hair and the other stroking his back, and whispers reassurances into Lance's ear.

 Lance, though he doesn't show his face again, mumbles a 'thank you' into Keith's neck. Keith can feel the moment Lance falls asleep, sagging against Keith and his arms going slack. Keith shakes Lance to make sure he's actually asleep, and then sighs through his nose. As carefully as he can, Keith stands up, rearranging Lance so that he's carrying him, and walks back to the room. Lance isn't very heavy, Keith notes, and it's easy to keep him from waking as they get back to James' room.

 Putting Lance under the covers is hard work, but Keith manages somewhat quietly, slipping in next to Lance once he's finished. He figures both of them deserve that, at least.

 

 (He's not cold anymore.)

 

 They end up spooning.

 It's ironic, really, Keith ends up with Lance's face smushed into his chest and his arms around Lance's neck, and Lance, in turn has both of his arms around Keith's waist. Also, their legs are tangled together.

 Keith thinks Lance wakes up first, which honestly isn't saying anything as Pidge is standing over them and giggling like a teenager that she is.

 Also-she's taking pictures.

 Lance mumbles something indecipherable into Keith's chest, hugging him tighter, and Keith could really give less of a fuck, seeing as that he's worn out from the previous night. With that, he flips Pidge off - who chortles like a choking pigeon - and lets Lance's steady heartbeat lull him back into sleep.

 

 By the time Keith wakes up again, light is streaming through the window, and Lance is still cuddled up with him. Something pokes him in his back.

 Blearily, he turns around, looking up, and he sees a blurry person - uh, James?

 'Get up, lovebirds,' he says, and Keith groans, batting him away with whatever's within his grasp.  _Fuck_ , last night was emotionally draining, that's for sure.

 'Fuck off,' Lance mumbles.

 Keith snorts a bit, still a bit hazy, 'What he said.'

 Somewhere off to their right - left? Keith can't tell - someone says, 'Hunk's going to run out of breakfast.'

 They smack each other in the heads in their rush to get up.

 

 ('Race you to the hall!'

 'Hey, no fair, you cheated! Keeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiitttthhhhhhhh!')

 

 Fortunately, they make it just in time as the last trays are being given out, and Hunk smiles at them as they walk away.

 'So,' Lance starts, signature grin on his face. Keith prefers this one above all else, 'I just thought of something.'

 Keith, chewing on his food, shrugs, giving him permission to continue talking. Lance grins excitedly, 'So you're Galra. And-'

 He pauses for dramatic effect, 'I think you're  _purr_ fect.'

 Keith chokes. Lance-that little bastard-doesn't even help, laughing his ass off across the table. Once he manages to gain control of himself, Keith glares at Lance, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, 'What the fuck, Lance?'

 Lance's laughter only increases, and Keith lets it go, if only because Lance seems so happy and bright today.

 Something vibrates. Keith starts, pulling his phone out of his pocket, and seeing that Allura's calling him, picks it up. 'Allura?'

 'Keith,' she says, sounding a bit conflicted, 'I have a mission for you. Pidge managed to find out something. Can you come to the deck we're in?'

 'Sure,' he says, standing up and gesturing to Lance, 'We'll be on our way.'

 

 'So,' Keith starts, 'There's a secret Galra base around here that you want us to investigate?'

 'Mostly, yes,' Pidge answers. 'Keith, we need you to go, because you'll probably need-'

 '-Fingerprints, yes.'

 Pidge nods, 'And I can give you a rough layout of the building. It apparently used to have high security and well-guarded rooms, but when we defeated Sendak it was vacated.'

 'Woah, wait,' Lance interjects, 'You're sending Keith off to a place we barely know about? Isn't that too dangerous?'

 Keith rolls his eyes. 'It's not the most dangerous thing we've done, at least.'

 'Besides,' Allura puts in, 'As long as you stay on guard, everything will be fine. And we'll be here for help any minute.'

 'Okay then,' Keith agrees. 'Pidge, send all the data you have into my armor-whatever.'

 'You got it.'

 They all agree, but then Lance says, 'Wait, Keith's going alone?'

 'We were sure he could handle it,' Allura shares a side glance with Pidge, 'but you're welcome to go with Keith if he allows.'

 Lance looks at him, and Keith shrugs. 'If you wanna.'

 Nodding, Lance tells Pidge to send him the information too.

 'C'mon,' Keith says, nudging Keith lightly in the arm, 'Suit up.'

 

 The base turns out to be pretty old, and Keith thinks it might be easy to infiltrate-especially with Lance guarding his back. The place is big, though, it's like a maze, with many tunnels and different paths that could possibly end up with them being lost or crushed under the weight of falling debris. The information is also pretty to download and Keith gets it easily, and for once he thinks that this mission will be a complete success.

 Lance voices that thought out loud, and that's when everything goes to shit.

 The rumbling starts out subtle, just a little tremor in the ground, but it grow louder and louder. Keith sees Lance grip his bayard tighter, and before they know it-one of the walls are bursting open and-

  _something_ comes through. Keith and Lance scramble back, eyes wide, and Keith thinks it looks like a scorpion-if the scorpion was enlarged to a height of a tall adult and had an abnormal amount of armor and poison dripping from its fangs. The drops steam where they splash onto the ground. Keith hears Lance gulp, and for a second while Keith looks to the side to gauge their means of escape, everything is quiet.

 Then it  _lunges._

 On instinct, Keith grabs Lance's arm, moving as fast as they can towards the door they cam in through. What-what the hell? Where did this thing even come from?

 Lance shouts those exact words, and Keith barely manages to deflect something with his bayard before he's pulling Lance and going through the door.

 'Can this thing shoot spikes now?' Keith yells, and before he can blink a spear-like sting is hurtling towards him. It's knocked away, and Keith looks at Lance to see he's shot it out of the way.

 'Don't die on me, samurai,' he says, though the words sound serious this time.

 Keith rolls his eyes, and turns around, trusting that Lance will follow him, and tries to get out of there. 'We need to get back to the lions!' he yells over the sound of bricks in the background as the scorpion-thing follows them.

 Lance agrees quickly, but they're in the maze, and it's going to take forever for them to find a way out. Twists and turns block their way, and Keith hurriedly makes a mark in the wall to mark their progress.

 There's a roar behind them, and Keith makes a split-second decision, instructing Lance to go first. The tunnels are wider here, a lot wider, and it's no problem for the scorpion to fit through the walls. The creature screeches, firing another one of its arrows-whatever at Lance, and for one terrifying moment, Keith sees Lance. Being impaled by that thing, and-no. 

 And before he knows what he's doing, he's flung his left arm out, and he thinks he hears his armor crack as the arrow-spear pierces through his skin. Lance is leading the way, running as fast as he can, and Keith lets out a grunt as he slices through the spear with his sword, pulling it out from the other end. Tears pool at his eyes, his arm now useless from that, but he refuses to give in, yelling at Lance not to look back and just lead them out with all the energy he has.

 The creature gets lost in one of the turns, and Keith knows it's not going to last long.

 'Hey,' he says, a bit gasping, 'Can you reach Allura?'

 Lance tries, and then says, 'No, I think the tunnels block the signals.'

 'Great.'

 Their pace slows down, and Keith makes sure that he makes a mark at every turn they take.

 Lance makes to turn around a few times, but Keith urges him on, telling him not to worry and that everything’s fine.

 Everything, in fact, is _not_ fine. Overlooking the fact that Keith’s arm is dripping blood periodically, he’s also feeling woozy and lightheaded, and the sword just seems to weigh him down. They slow to a walk, and—Keith trusts Lance, trusts him to find the exit to this hellhole.

 The pain is coming in waves now, making it hard for him to see in the already dark paths.

 He stumbles, almost knocking into Lance from behind. Fortunately, Lance just says, ‘Hang on,’ and continues, and Keith lets go of his bayard to clutch at his other arm. Keith can barely keep his head on straight, but he grits his teeth and continues on as if nothing’s wrong. Fuck, it’s really getting bad now.

 ‘Lance?’ he says, hating the fact that his voice comes out so small.

 ‘Hm?’

 ‘Can you talk?’

 There’s a moment of surprise, but Lance complies, not questioning Keith on such a strange request. ‘Hey, so the other day—I think you were training?—and I was with Hunk in the kitchen, and he made me taste test his cookies, and apparently something went wrong with baking because it exploded in my mouth.’

 Keith chuckles, laughing as Lance chatters on and on, and, somehow, it grounds him, just the tiniest bit, and it clears his head as Lance leads him through the maze.

 ‘Hold on,’ Lance says, ‘I think we’re near the exit. I’m getting some signal from my helmet.’

 Keith nods, and then, ‘Yeah, good.’

 The ground rumbles.

 Lance stops in his tracks, and the rumbling gets worse, way worse, and then he’s running, yelling to Keith that they’re getting close, and Keith hurries along.

 But as soon as he moves too quickly, a wave of nausea hits him, and he crumples, hitting the ground—and Keith thinks he blacks out for a second.

 ‘Keith?! Are you okay?’

 ‘Yeah,’ he croaks out, pulling himself up, ‘I just tripped.’

 Lance doesn’t look back, and Keith runs, taking it the fastest he can, and sees Lance round the corner. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck he’s going to—

 Keith throws up, barely managing to get rid of the pungent taste in his mouth before following after Lance. ‘I’m coming!’

 The ground shakes violently, and Keith stumbles, looking back to see that the scorpion’s caught up, and is now shooting its spear things—which he barely manages to avoid.

 He rounds the corner, and Keith sees Lance waiting for him, hand gripping his bayard tightly, eyes widening when he sees Keith. ‘Keith-‘

 ‘No time,’ Keith grits out, ‘Just run!’

 They can see the entrance—just up ahead—but it’s still a long way to run, and it looks like the ceiling’s going to collapse any second.

 ‘Go!’

 Lance runs, trusting Keith to follow after him. Keith bites his lip until a metallic tinge is filling his mouth, and then-

 Something flies by his waist. In shock, he looks down, seeing the head of a spear rip open his suit, and—it’s got a lot of his waist too. Keith grunts, eyes filling with tears. His hand touches his wound and comes away wet with blood.

 Despite being almost delirious with pain, Keith tries to continue on, stumbling and holding onto the wall for support.

 ‘Keith!’

 Lance. Lance is by his side. Lifting one of Keith’s arms, he rushes them, but Keith’s full body weight is on Lance and it’s obviously taking a toll on him.

 ‘Lance,’ Keith protests weakly, vision clouded by dark edges, and looks back, seeing the scorpion gaining on them with every second. ‘Lance, just _go_. I already transferred the data.’

 ‘No, Keith,’ he says firmly. ‘I’m not leaving you behind.’

 Keith wants to push Lance off, to tell him to just go, but that’s not going to happen—

 He sees a part of the roof that’s falling down—and then he gets an idea, a terrible one, one Lance will _never_ forgive him for but he needs to do anyways if he wants to get Lance out alive.

 With all the energy he has left, he pushes Lace off him and forward, stumbling back until his hand holds the wall as a support.

 ‘Keith, what are you—‘ Lance’s voice is panicked, and he realizes a second too late about what Keith is going to do. ‘Keith, no—!’

 Keith’s already taken out his bayard, and he strikes at the ceiling. Through the dust, just at the last second, he smiles sadly and mouths three words.

 Then, the dust settles. It’s him and the creature now.

 As if mocking him, the creature moves forward slowly, taking its time as Keith’s weak eyes flitter about in an attempt to find a way out.

 No. He _has_ to fight this thing.

 Keith takes a deep breath. Calms himself. Tries not to think about anything but this. Tries to ignore the throbbing pain in his side and arm.

 He raises his sword in a last stand, and the moment the scorpion rushes towards him, Keith drops and slides under it, ignoring the sharp pang of pain in his side. As he does, he strikes his sword up. Though the creature makes a pained noise, it’s not anywhere near hurt as Keith is.

 Keith stands up, swaying. His vision is going double, but he has to stay conscious, at least until Lance reaches the others and can find him again.

 The thing looks like its shell is almost impenetrable—the underside is a weak point, Keith struggles to think.

  _C’mon, Keith. Think. Use that fight-first-ask-questions-later brain of yours._

Keith’s eyes dart to the side, looking for anything can to protect himself and use against the scorpion. The creature walks slowly towards Keith, and he stands, hunched over, adrenaline taking over his body. With a yell, Keith charges, swinging with full force and trying to land a hit, but the thing simply bats him away like he’s nothing, and Keith hits the wall with a grunt, rocks and dirt falling around him as Keith crumples to the ground.

 Keith’s vision goes almost static for a second, and he thinks he’s going to black out, but he doesn’t—and it takes him longer to stand up than he likes. The scorpion definitely looks like it’s mocking him.  Keith stumbles, barely managing to dodge the incoming stab of its tail.

 His arm is throbbing now, and Keith thinks he’s going to pass out from the blood loss really, really quickly.

 He tries for making one last—probably futile—attempt at killing the thing when—

 Keith sees a chink in its armor. It’s at the top—and Keith needs something he can jump from. His eyes trail to the mountain of pebbles and rocks from where he had made the ceiling collapse earlier.

 ‘Patience yields focus,’ Keith whispers to himself—his ribs are probably broken, there’s a huge gash in his side, and his left arm is useless at this point—but he staggers over when the scorpion rushes at him, rolling and dodging (and wincing in pain), making his way as fast as he can to the wall of tumbling rocks. Of course, the thing doesn’t go easy on him, and Keith only lands a few scratches on its armor.

 When he makes it, Keith only manages to stand up by leaning on his sword—he doesn’t know ho he’s going ot find the energy to jump at the thing, nevermind climbing the wall of rocks.

 At a frankly terrifying pace, the scorpion rushes towards him, realizing that Keith’s cornered. Keith takes a deep breath, scaling up the wall as much as his one arm and leg will allow, and jumps.

 He misses.

 Keith only scratches a small bit of the flesh off before he tumbles to the ground. In other situations, he would’ve only grunted, but he’s hurt. Everything throbs, and Keith can’t even tell the difference between the rocks and the scorpion.

 He screams. The creature backs away, as if it’s startled, and it gives Keith enough time to just drag himself to lean against the wall. So this is it. He’s going to die. Sure, he’s done this a lot of times, the near-dying thing. Heck, he’s tried to sacrifice himself to break a barrier!

 Maybe it’s just the blood loss talking, but—Keith just wants to sleep now. His arm and waist are swelling an ugly green, and Keith thinks he’s gone numb.

  _Go on,_ his mind urges. _You’ve earned it._

_No, I have to wait._

_For what? You can just sleep. Everything will be fine._

Keith vaguely feels pain shoot up one of his legs.

 Then—Keith feels  _something._ Adrenaline, mixed with something else.

 He can't—he can't do anything. The creature is advancing, ready to finish Keith off and—

 —he's not ready to die.

 If he's going to live, it's going to be for Lance.

 Keith, with all the power he has left, stands up, gripping the wall and his sword tightly to not let himself pass out and—something shifts.

 It's subtle, but he can feel it, the way his vision sharpens despite the haze of pain, the way his hearing seems to sharpen until he can hear the tiny rocks tumbling down, even the wind blowing through the tiny cracks in the wall.

 It's like his senses are sharpening, and suddenly the creature stills, seeming to hesitate for a moment before lunging.

 Keith rolls out of the way, breathing heavily, almost panicking as the scorpion turns, ready to fire another spear. It's now or never—he's probably going to die anyways, it'd probably be best to die taking out that thing than just give up.

  _Victory or death._

 Funny. Keith never thought that he'd be relating to the Galra saying right before he died.

 With a yell, he charges, the creature rushing at him too, and—

 Keith's aware of them colliding, of blood and poison flying around him, his leg buckling as he hits the ground with a thud.

 And then—nothing.

 

  _Flashes. Yelling. Lance?_

_Picking him up, holding Keith. Shaking him. Shouting something intelligible._

_Crying?_

_Keith doesn’t want Lance to cry. Is it because of him?_

_‘Don’t go!’_

_People around him._

_Do they care?_

_‘Keith! Stay with me, please!’_

_Keith can’t feel anything._

_He shakily raises an arm up, and sees his eyes widen. Everything is a blur._

_‘Lance.’ It hurts to get the word out. ‘I—‘_

_He coughs. He can feel himself fading away from consciousness._

_‘I love you.’_

Keith doesn't know how long he stays unconscious, but his dreams and nightmares keep him company _—_ Keith doesn't really like that alternative either.

 Some time, though, he  _has_ to wake up—and Keith slowly flutters his eyes open, staring up at the white ceiling. His whole body aches, and his eyes look down to see that his arm's wrapped in bandages.

 He doesn't know how long it takes for him to fully wake up, but once he registers quiet voices speaking, Keith tries to clear his throat. All that comes out is a croaky, raspy groan.

 The talking stops immediately, and Keith feels the presence of people by his side.

 'Keith,' someone says, 'Are you—are you okay?'

 Keith nods, and then, somebody helps him sit up—and Keith winces at the pain that runs through his torso. They go slow, and when he's sitting upright with the person supporting him, Keith realizes that it's Krolia on his left and Lance on his right.

 Lance, who definitely looks worse for wear and ragged—has he gotten thinner?

 'Mom,' he croaks out, 'Lance?'

 She hands his a glass of water, and Keith drinks it shakily, while Lance sits down by Keith's side and lets Keith lean on him. His hand strokes Keith's hair gently, and Keith leans into his touch.

 There's comfortable silence, and Keith thinks he might fall asleep like this, with Lance supporting him and letting him leech his warmth.

 'Hey,' he finally says, voice almost back to normal, 'What happened?'

 Lance and Krolia look at each other, eyebrows furrowing—but before they say anything, there's a sparkly  _pop_ and Keith sees his wolf drop onto the ground beside them. He puts his head onto Keith's bed, and Keith fondly pats his wolf's head. (He still refuses to call him Cosmo.)

 It looks like he isn't going anywhere, though, so Keith turns back to his mom and Lance for an explanation.

 'So, uh,' Lance starts, voice sounding oddly tight, 'What do you remember?'

 Keith raises an eyebrow. 'We were in a mission and I told you to go without me. I tried to kill the thing and—'

 He scrunches his eyebrows, trying to remember more, '—I'm not sure but, I think you were there? And I passed out.'

 Lance looks like he's about to cry again, and Keith suddenly feels a vice-like grip over his heart at the thought of Lance  _crying._

 Krolia gets up, and Keith looks up at her. She smiles softly, rubbing his hair, and says, 'You two should talk some things out. I'll come back later.'

 Once she goes, his wolf rounds the bed, and jumps up onto the other side, putting his head onto Keith's lap and closing his eyes, seemingly going to sleep.

 'Hey,' Keith says after a moment, 'So are you going to tell me, or—?'

 Lance doesn't reply for several minutes, instead turning his face away from Keith's, making it hard for him to gauge what Lance feels about him right now. Then, in a small voice, Lance starts to explain. 'I left you. You told me to run, so I did, trusting that you'd get back by yourself.'

 He holds back a sob, and Keith's eyes grow wide, trying to think of the best thing he can do that'll make Lance not cry. 'I—I left you there, Keith. If I had come back sooner, you—you wouldn't have been in such a horrible state.'

 'Lance—'

 'No, Keith,' Lance interrupts him, moving his arm around so that he's half-hugging Keith from behind. 'I—I was the one you trusted, but I wasn't even good enough. I saw that you were hurt, but I just ran away. Like a _coward_.' He spits the word out with malice.

 'No,' Keith interrupts him. 'No. No, Lance, it wasn't your fault.'

 Lance frowns, eyes still wide and watery with unshed tears. 'But—'

 ' _Listen to me_ ,' Keith says, trying to muster all the force he can. 'Just—just listen, okay?'

 At Lance's slow nod, he continues. 'You're  _not_ worthless. Both of us couldn't have known this was going to happen.'

 'You were literally walking behind me. I never turned back,' Lance argues. 'If I had checked on you, we would've made if out faster!'

 'Lance,' Keith says again, 'It was  _my_ choice, okay? Please—don't blame yourself for something I did.'

 Lance frowns, burying his head in Keith's shoulder. 'I—I didn't know what to  _think_ , Keith. When-when we found you, you were bleeding out. You had a concussion. Your arm was barely recognizable. Your waist was so—I don't even want to say it, Keith.'

 'Hey,' Keith coaxes, urging Lance to look up at him, 'It  _wasn't_ your fault, okay? I don't know what's going on in that paper airplane brain of yours but—' he ignores Lance's indignant squawk—'I'll be fine now, okay? I promise you that.'

 Lance shakes his head, ducking. 'No, Keith, you—you don't understand. You—you  _died_ , Keith.'

 Keith's world stops for a few seconds. 'What?'

 Lance opens his mouth, as if to repeat himself, then shuts it, as if the words alone are too hurtful for him to say. 'Please, Keith—' he chokes out, a broken sob coming out from his mouth, 'Please don't leave me like that again.'

 Keith's a bit overwhelmed right now, but he tries to make sense of what Lance has told him. Some memories are coming back too—wait.

 Wait.

 He—he'd told Lance he loved him.

 At that time, he was so afraid to die and not see Lance again that he just blurted those words out.

 But now—Lance is crying for him, and Keith doesn't really know how to process that. 'Died,' he echoes, 'How—?'

 'Allura brought you back,' Lance says, voice cracking, 'She—she did the same thing she did to me and—she helped you, Keith.'

 Lance sounds so relieved then, so happy, that Keith can't resist leaning into his touch. 'Lance.'

 'Yeah?'

 'You are aware you did that too, right?'

 Lance sniffles. 'That's different.'

 Keith raises an eyebrow. 'Please enlighten me.'

 'Well—'

 'Y'know what?' Keith interrupts. 'Nevermind. I know what you're going to say.'

 Lance  _pouts_ at him, which is unfair because  _how_ can he look this  _cute_ even though he was crying just a few seconds ago? 'I was going to say I felt no pain!'

 Keith raises an eyebrow, again.

 'Well,' Lance's eyes shift away a bit, 'I felt it for like, a second? But you walked the whole way without faltering!'

 Sighing, Keith raises his good arm and cups Lance's cheek with it—though the angle is a bit awkward— and says, 'Hey. Lance. I'll thank Allura after this, okay? And—I can't make any promises but—' Keith struggles to get the words out without saying something about his feelings and inevitably ruining their friendship—'I trust you. And I'll try to stay alive for you, okay?'

 Lance nods, leaning into Keith's hand. 'I'll do my best to protect you.'

 'No dying for me, sharpshooter.'

 'You wish, samurai.'

 Ah, there's the Lance he knows and loves.

 

 Shortly after, Keith falls asleep, but not before gleaning more information from Lance. Apparently, he's been asleep—Lance refuses to say  _coma_ —for a couple months, and Galra attacks have been surprisingly low and were quickly stopped. Keith sighs in relief that they haven't needed him that much. Lance adds that Keith has horrible injuries to his lag and arm and waist, and that he's not getting out of bed anytime soon. Keith hits him.

 When Keith wakes up again, Lance isn't there—good, because Lance hasn't been eating or sleeping properly, he needs his rest—but James is, opening the door quietly and stepping into the room, followed by Hunk. His wolf's still there, though, and Keith rubs him on the head, eliciting a happy whine.

 'Hey,' Keith greets them, sitting up by himself. He misses Lance's warmth.

 'Hey,' James and Hunk echo in unison, before Hunk produces something from his bag. 'I made you some noodles. And cookies too. Please note that I snuck them in.'

 James laughs a bit, and Keith follows, thanking Hunk for the delicious food. It doesn't take him very long to eat, since Hunk considered that he might mot have much of an appetite  and didn't bring too much, and when he finishes, he thanks Hunk again.

 'No problem, man!' Hunk says cheerfully, 'We gotta keep our leader alive, after all!'

 Keith smiles softly, and then his attention's drawn to James, who says with a smirk, 'Nice hair.'

 Keith's hand comes up to touch his hair, finding out that,  _yes_ , there are several tiny braids woven into his hair and then all piled on his head, ' _Lance._ '

 Both of them laugh, and Keith smiles.

 'So,' Hunk says after a few seconds, looking at James apprehensively, 'You told Lance...'

 He trails off, but Keith knows what he's saying, and he simply nods. It surprisingly doesn't leave him feeling very bad, as though the knowledge of Lance rejecting him might be the final push Keith needs to get over him. Sure, it hurts, but Keith can bear the pain himself without making Lance worry.

 'I did,' he confirms, 'Just before the ceiling collapsed. And—after I fought the thing, I think?'

 They go quiet, and Keith turns to James. 'Do you know who was there? Lance didn't want to give me the full details.'

 James starts a bit, but he says with the slightest tremor in his voice, 'I—I was there. With Lance. And Shiro. He brought us since he said we were closer to you. Keith—god, Keith. You—you looked terrible. You—your face was green, and there was blood coming out of your wounds.' James' voice is dangerously close to breaking, Keith realizes, and it's now apparent that he cared more than Keith thought he did. 'The—the  _thing_ , we didn't even know, was dead. Your sword was stuck in it.'

 Keith nods slowly. 'And?' His wolf crawls up a little, nudging his nose against Keith's cheek. Keith smiles, and mentally thanks him for making things marginally better.

 James takes a deep breath, and then continues, 'Keith, Lance was—he's been terrible since it happened. The rest of your team too, but he's the one who's most broken up about it.'

 Keith nods slowly, not sure how to react to that.

 'Hey,' Hunk says softly. 'We were really worried about you. Allura too. But, you're here now, okay? Just—try to heal the best you can, okay? For all of us?'

 Keith nods, and reassures them that he'll be resting. James raises an eyebrow doubtfully.

 'Well,' Hunk says, standing up, 'I have to go meet Pidge. I'll come back to talk to you later?'

 Keith nods, and then James says he's leaving too—apparently there's a meeting in a few minutes.

 With nothing else to do, Keith rolls over onto his good side, and hugs his wolf—who cuddles with him—and falls into sleep.

 

 The next time he wakes up, his wolf is still breathing heavily under his arm, and it's dark.

 On the couch beside the wall, there are two faces lit up by the screen of their holopads, and Keith groggily blinks himself awake to see that it's Allura and Pidge.

 ''Llura?' he asks, voice coming out slurred, 'Pidge?'

 They both turn to look at him, and then Pidge comes to stand beside him first, kneeling down so that Keith doesn't have to sit up.

 'Hey, Keith,' Pidge greets first. 'We've been waiting for you to wake up, so I'm really sleepy.'

 'Go,' Keith mumbles, smothering a yawn himself. 'You need sleep.'

 Pidge grins. 'Well,' she says, standing up, 'Get better soon, Keith. Don't leave me worried again.'

 Keith nods into his pillow. And then there's only him and Allura left.

 'Uh, thanks, by the way,' Keith says awkwardly. 'I—I think I have a lot to thank you for.'

 Allura smiles at him, leaning down, 'Keith. It's okay. I  _wanted_ to save you. It wouldn't have worked otherwise.'

 Keith frowns, really wanting to go back to sleep but also talk to Allura. 'Allura, you saved my  _life._ I—It's not enough just to thank you.'

 'Yes, it is,' Allura says, firmly but softly. 'How about this? You can owe me any favor in return, okay?'

 Keith frowns, 'But you'll never use it.'

 'I will,' Allura reassures him, 'I promise.'

 Keith isn't satisfied, but he lets it go, watching as Allura smiles at him and stands up. 'We can talk later. For now, just get some more rest, okay? I think you need it.'

 'It's not like I've been sleeping for two months or anything,' Keith grumbles, and smiles to himself when he hears Allura laugh just before she leaves.

 

 The next morning, Keith's woken up by a nurse who gives him his breakfast and checks up on all his vitals.

 'You're doing good, surprisingly,' the nurse says, 'You should stay in bed for a month or two and then you'll be back on your feet, though you should take it easy.'

 Keith nods, drinking the orange juice set down on the small table in front of him. The nurse stays moving around his room and tidying some things up—not that there's much—until he finishes. 'Officer Shirogane's coming in a few minutes.'

 'Thanks for telling me,' Keith says, lying down again. His wolf had disappeared earlier, presumably to get food for himself too, and Keith grows anxious during the time the nurse leaves his room and when Shiro enters it.

 'Keith,' Shiro greets, sitting down on the chair beside him, 'You feeling better?'

 'Yeah,' Keith replies, 'So what have you got here for me?'

 Shiro chuckles, flipping through the sheath of paper, and says, 'Actually, these are for Iverson. I just wanted to talk to you about something else.'

 Keith nods.

 'Or  _someone_ else, if you'd prefer.' Fuck, Keith should've known Shiro better than this,

 'Shut up, Shiro,' Keith snaps, though it sounds fond to his own ears.

 'Ah, my little brother,' Shiro bemoans, mischief sparkling in his eyes, 'How could you betray me in this—horrifying, heart-wrenching way?'

 Keith gives him a flat stare.

 Finally, Shiro gives in and chuckles, but then his expression grows more serious.

 'Keith.' He gives an answering hum. 'When Lance, James and I came to get you, you were bleeding out and almost dying. But there was something different about you.'

 Keith thinks he remembers that. How his senses felt sharpened, how focused he felt. 'Yeah, I think I remember. Is there anything permanently wrong with me now?'

 Shiro shakes his head. 'Keith—you were fully Galra.'

 Oh. Ohh.  _Ohhhhh._

So  _that's_ what it was.

 Keith nods slowly in understanding, and Shiro looks at him quizzically. 'You're not surprised?'

 'No,' Keith chuckles, 'My mom told me what was likely to happen, so.'

 Shiro raises his eyebrows, but nods. 'So if you did it, can you do it now?'

 'I don't know,' Keith admits, feeling weird that he can shift his body into a different form, 'I could try, I guess. I might need something to help me with it.'

 'Would having Krolia help?'

 'It might,' Keith thinks, since she's Galra too.

 'Okay then,' Shiro says, standing up. 'I'll come back in the afternoon, okay?'

 Keith nods.

 'And try to keep yourself safe until then.'

 Keith's not in the best condition, but he still manages to lob one of his pillows at Shiro's head as the other walks out laughing.

 

 Keith doesn't know how he'll survive another months like this.

 The urge to move, to do  _something_ , niggles at him, and however much Keith tries to sleep, he's too high-strung for it.

 There's a knock at his door, and Keith says, 'Come in.'

 His mom comes in first, still in her Blade armor, with Lance in tow.

 'Keith,' she says first. 'How are you feeling?'

 'Better. Where's Shiro?'

 'Something came up,' she tells him, and then gestures to Lance, who looks really small beside her, 'Lance volunteered to come with me.'

 'Ah,' Keith nods. 'Thanks, Lance.'

 Lance grins at him. 'No problem, buddy!'

 They take a place on each side of his bed, and Krolia starts, 'So, do you have ideas on how to do this?'

 Keith levels her with a flat stare. 'I thought you we re the one helping me?'

 'I am,' she says with a smile. 'That does not mean I know what I'm doing.'

 Keith groans. Beside him, Lance snickers.

 'Fine,' Keith grumbles, 'I have an idea, but I'm not sure.'

 His mother nods, leaning forward. 'We'll help any way we can.'

 Keith nods, then holds out a hand to her, urging her to take his hand. Keith closes his eyes, trying to imagine himself turning Galra in hopes that his body will follow his command. It takes a while, though, and Keith thinks that nothing's happening and that he's just looking like an idiot when Lance gasps softly beside him.

 Keith flutters his eyes open, and—yup, the weird heightened senses thing is happening. His mom looks slightly surprised, but Lance is just gaping at him.

 'What?'

 'Can I pet you?' Lance blurts out.

 ...well. That was a different reaction than he was expecting, but it doesn't seem to be negative, so Keith turns his head towards Lance just the slightest bit.

 Lance perks up, and Keith turns his head so that Lance can't see his smile. His mother's smiling at him, and not innocently, either. Jesus, he needs a break.

 'Wow,' Lance marvels, his fingers threading through Keith's hair, 'Your hair is so soft. Is it a Galra thing?'

 'How am I supposed to know?' Keith mutters.

 Lance laughs softly, and continues winding his fingers through Keith's hair.

 Suddenly, a hologram appears above his mother's arm. Keith doesn't really listen to her conversation with Kolivan, but he gets the gist that she needs to go on a mission to collect some intel. He shakes his head when she looks at him apologetically.

 'It's fine, mom,' he says, half-joking, 'I have Lance with me.'

 She smiles softly at him, and then standing up, leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. With that, she leaves the room, and Keith and Lance are left in silence.

 Keith closes his eyes for a moment, but then opens them again, moving away from Lance's touch. There's a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that Keith's just using him almost dying to get closer to him; it makes him feel like he's taking advantage of Lance's friendship. 'Lance, do you remember what I said to you, before—and when I told you to leave—I passed out?'

 Lance seems to freeze, just for a minute, and then he looks away, hand coming up to rub his neck. 'Yeah—yeah, I remember. I assumed it was because you were delirious, though. I mean,' he laughs nervously, 'Why would someone like you love someone like me?'

 Keith frowns, grabbing Lance's chin and squeezing his cheeks so that they puff up like an angry puffer-fish.

 'Lance,' he says firmly, forcing himself to look into Lance's surprised eye, 'I—love—you. And that is the truth. Whether you think you deserve it or not, I do. So shut up and stop doubting me for a moment.'

 On that slightly aggressive note, Keith lets go and leans back, crossing his arms and leaving no room for argument. And then, of course, Keith expects it, the gentle let-down when Lance says that they're better off friends.

 What he's expecting isn't really what he gets.

 Lance  _giggles._

 He fucking  _giggles._

 He giggles, and Keith, with no idea of how to have prepared for this outcome, sits there with crossed arms and an angry face like a baby, probably looking like the dumbest idiot in the whole world.

 'Will you shut up,' Keith grumbles, not quite phrasing it as a question, 'I know, okay? You don't have to make fun of my feelings.'

 Like a switch has been flipped, Lance gapes, looking at Keith incredulously. 'Wait, seriously?'

 Keith raises an eyebrow. 'What?'

 'Oh my god,' Lance says, his eye twitching, leaning forwards, 'Keith—you—you're so dense—oh my god—'

 'Cut it out Lance,' Keith says flatly.

 'Fine!' Lance throws his hands up into the air, 'Since you're too dense, here! I love you too, okay?! I have since you tried to sacrifice yourself before we met Lotor!'

 After that, there's a silence between them, and Keith's eyes are probably as round as Hunk's space pancakes. He opens his mouth several times, and finds that he isn't really capcable of speech at this moment.

  _I love you too, okay?_

 It's suddenly too hard for him to breathe.

 'Me?' he finally croaks out, 'Why me—'

 'Nope, nuh-uh,' Lance interrupts him, cupping Keith's cheeks with his warm hands and wearing a huge smile, 'You told me to believe you. And this time,  _you_ believe  _me_ , okay?'

 Keith nods slowly, and only then the realization settles in, and he smiles up at Lance, who's still grinning softly in return.

 'Really?' Keith says, voice coming out softer than he expects, needing to hear that reassurance to feel that everything's real.

 Lance's grin is so big that it's going to split in half, as he says again, 'I love you.'

 Keith smiles, and says, 'I love you too.'

 Lance lets go of Keith's cheeks to dramatically press both hands to his chest, and goes, ' _Awwwwwww!'_

 Keith rolls his eyes, and then says, quietly, hesitantly, 'So—are we boyfriends now?'

 Lance stops for a minute, and Keith thinks that maybe he's said the wrong thing, maybe he's taking things too far, too fast, but then Lance says excitedly, 'God, yes—I'd love to!'

 Excitedly, and not seeming to think about it, Lance leans down and presses a soft kiss to Keith's lips.

 Oh.

 Wow.

 That happened.

 Keith sees Lance's eyes start to go wide, and before he can break out in a fit of nervous babbles, he pulls Lance forward with his good had to return the kiss.

 It's not very special—the way their teeth seem to clack and the fact that Lance keeps giggling every two  _goddamn_ seconds is pretty much all the proof of it—but Keith feels safe. And warm, where Lance is touching him and gently holding Keith closer.

 They don't go much farther than that, though, as Keith is still injured, but they do talk about their feelings—an honestly foreign concept for Keith—and Keith discovers-

 '—wait, you were jealous?'

 Lance's cheeks flame an adorable red.

 'Shut up, mullet!'

**Author's Note:**

> thank soooooooo much to rae for the moral support!!
> 
> also inspired by heart like yours by wilamette stone (cover by dalton cyr) and this wonderful amv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsfFV-YnF5Y i crIED OK
> 
> also feel free to leave any mistakes or unedited pieces or anything you find bc i was too lazy to check it lol. contrustive criticism and comments are always appreciated! (my tumblr's ryneisaterriblefan if you wanna visit)


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